Tuesday, November 22
am waiting for cindy to come over so shall drop a post here.
been getting very little sleep for the past few days. so many issues are skimming the surface of my brain, (as fok will say it); it's so terrible it's incredible.
speaking abt fok, i miss that girl so much.
reflecting back on the conversation btwn me and jx last night till like.. 3am?
yeah. i do admit there was one period of time this year that i seriously spun out of control. and she thought i'd never come back. but yup. i did, and i'm back.
guess curiousity, the excitement, the chase for cheap thrills got the better of me and i wasnt exactly thinking much. maybe it's because i got bored of that lifestyle, or maybe it's because i just grew out of it. or perhaps i simply saw that what i did previously was wrong; i dont know what it was that woke me up (i'm still trying to figure that out) but i'm just glad i did. and i'm hoping that i do not slip back into those times again.
well, maybe i'm stubborn. okay, i am stubborn. having to learn things the hard way myself and my constant refusal to be moved by people's words. but yeah, thats how i work, ridiculous as it sounds.
i'm just glad for those who stuck through it all, those friends who managed to brave through my changes. there aren't many left but i'm just grateful for that handful.
jun, cindy, mich, jx, malcolm, char, mabel,monique some of the cj-ex classmates like yen,ced and youwei and not forgetting my sd 1 classmates like basically whole class; but especially nette,gwen, fok, lydhang, louis and bryan.
and those who entered my life recently like eve, leonard, lincoln.
(*p.s; pls pardon me if i missed out names.)
and those who walked out, guess i dont blame or hold any resentment towards you guys. just supposed that those changes was too much for you to take. but i'm nevertheless grateful for those footprint you left before u walked away.
well well, so much for just dropping an entry.
(i'm having this urge to put a name to some of the people that i still do care abt despite them walking out.
but nah, maybe i shouldn't cause i've grown to realise some of my hate fans do read my entries.)
and i do hope u know you're one of them
yup. guess thats all for now. do somewhat feel better after typing this entry out.
...*taps feet, still waiting for cindy though. =))
--
cj chalet tmr.=))
currently listening to (on repeat mode): "because of you" - kelly clarkson