Saturday, October 28
Rediscover yourself
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studying at starbucks for the past few days has been rather enjoying. though we lost our little corner which we once possess monopolistic power over, the other spots now seem rather appealing for they all provide the view of the starbuck's door.
and just sometimes, you see a familiar friendly face walking towards it which brightens up your days and send waves throughout your mind that perks you up even though you have been sleep-deprieved for days.
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just ended one of those little conversations with the pirate and it suddenly became flagrant to me regarding the origins of my insecurity. well you see, there are many various factors that come into play which create that emotion and i'm no doubt the part culprit that made me feel this way.
it hit me just now that i'm secure because it's just seems rather unbelievable that someone might actually like you for you, in this case; me for me . with such thought or rather-fear instilled in you, one tends to be paranoid and worry unneccesarily that the other may simply lose interest one day, or find someone else who is similar but more appealing and render me, he or she, to be no longer unique and special as the other thought initially.
and the more i dwell into it, the more i question my ability to give and offer something that is worthy of the attention of the other.
cause i'm just an ordinary girl, who thinks incessantly, have quirky habits like grumpy fridays and watches pokemon every saturday morning at 11am for the past 5 years.
and you see, thats about it!
but despite such bugging fear, i don't think i'm gonna stop trying and hopefully, just maybe, the fact about me still watching pokemon will become something that appeals rather then deter.
hmm..
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toren!
can i please tell you what a happy girl u made of me, after having that very long talk with you. i just couldnt stop thinking of it despite the noisy background at lido at 3am in the morning!
i'm glad you're better:)