Sunday, April 1
In the sun.
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took a moment off the com to just lie in the rays of the late afternoon sun. it was strong and lethal, you can literally feel it scorching your skin in just minutes. thats the thing with Melbourne's sun, there's no ozone layer to block off harmful uv rays, and so you get the full package of it, well.. almost.
as much as it sounds potentially dangerous, i enjoyed that moment. for reasons i dont know why. think it's today, somehow or rather, there seemed to be so many things floating in my head that i cannot even decipher what those stuff are.
one thing i know for sure is that being kept in pain and suspense is one of the worst mix ever. and ironically, i find myself walking down that path.
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and once again, i feel inept. guilty and responsible. it's as if i forced myself onto this road with my own paranoia and actions. it's like a vicious cycle i cant escape from. it's always your fault laura, it's always mine.
seems like no matter how hard i try to wash my hands, it's stained. tainted for good. maybe it'll be better if the world stayed away.
talked to elizabeth last night and the consensus was that i'm an optimist. and now i look at my reflection.. and i dont know if i should still be. cause i subconscious dig a hole and kill myself in the process. i guess thats why i fear, i'm no good.
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well, happy aprils' fool everyone.
i started a joke, and now the joke is on me.
literally.
happy birthday nicole.
just random pictures from last night suprise and supper.
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can we try again love?
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