Wednesday, May 17
learning to let go
i'm waking up eariler and earlier every day.
and i'm sleeping later and later every night.
i'm having so many nightmares of hockey,
it's just too scary to fall asleep.
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yes, i think i'm finally letting it go. reading and re-reading ms tan msges helped i guess. the world doesnt and wont stop for me, it's not gonna pause and wait for me to climb back up on my feet.
had dental yest and was supposed to meet nette and chunhuat for a while.(kinda hoped that they could somehow ease my reluctance towards meeting people) however, some last minute plans came up and so i had to shaft it. had to go to the photoshoot for the cip event. took me exactly 1 hour to decide if i should face it or not. spent that 1 hour sitting outside sam seah's bus stop, and yup.. i went ahead with it.
cant go running forever.
so i went, and after not seeing people i know except my hockey girls and family for exactly 6days since the match.
it turned out just fine. got reminded of the match for a moment cause amanda asked me abt it and the rest had to use it to try to churn out anger in me.
yah it sucks, but thats life, and there's nothing i can do about it anymore.
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and so after running away from school for so many days, i've decided to go back. wanted to today.. but as u may know, i'm sick again.
maybe it's the finger, maybe it's my body, or maybe it's just mental.
so hopefully i'll be back tmr, thurs. i'm wayy behind.
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just like to thank all those who showed concern throughout this whole period- my hockey girls, classmates, jing and jx.
and i'm sorry amelia for brushing you off and being mean just because of yah.
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i'm just a petty and stubborn girl